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Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe who has been ruling the country since creation, has threatened to live forever and is living up zealously to his threat. He is the world's oldest and longest serving Head of State. His decades-old rule as one of the world’s most enduring dictators has been associated more with gross human rights violations than good governance.

Old Bob was scheduled to arrive in Ghana last Thursday for a four-day visit. Uncle Bob who is now 92-year, was scheduled to speak at this year’s the Lifetime Africa Achievement Prize awards ceremony at the Kempinski Hotel in Accra.

There were huge billboards with giant portraits of Mugabe in parts of the capital. When I heard the news about his scheduled visit, I said to someone, “Mugabe won’t be coming.” He asked why? I really don’t know why,  but he won’t be coming, I told him. It was just a strong hunch.

True to my prediction, Mugabe cancelled his scheduled visit. Blessed is the dictator who learns to stay put when there is so much discontent at home. Many Ghanaians had been beside themselves with curiosity to see Mugabe.

Did know that Mugabe attended Achimota School in the 1950s or that he taught at Apowa Secondary School in Takoradi? It was at Achimota that he met his Ghanaian wife to be, the late Sally Mugabe

Roy Agyemang, is a movie director who was born to Ghanaian parents in Britain. He has made a film on Robert Gabriel Mugabe, titled ‘Mugabe: Villain or Hero?’

This film exposes the truth behind President Robert Mugabe’s troubles with the West. But a critic says “it lacks the nuances, complexities and critical questions (other than ‘the land question’) that are key to understanding Mugabe’s legacy

The movie shows how for many years, Mugabe was lauded and feted by Western leaders. Accolades and numerous honorary degrees were bestowed on him. Even a knighthood from the British Queen was awarded him in 1994.

In 2000 however, European leaders and America turned against Mugabe when he sought to resolve the dispute over land ownership in Zimbabwe land issue by introducing the so-called programme of land democratisation. The British a former colonial ruler of Zimbawbe, launched at vitriolic attack on Mugabe when 4,000 white Zimbabweans lost 80 percent of the best land.

There has since been no love lost between Mugabe and the West! Every now and then, Mugabe hurls a verbal grenade at the British and the West.

Old Bob Mugabe has never been known for diplomacy anyway, ask the Jamaicans.{Rstafarians make up a huge chunk of Zimbabwe’s population a fact which has always seemed to irk Mugabe no end.}

Mugabe angered Jamaicans around the world some time ago when he called on the youth of Zimbabwe not to look up to Jamaican males as role models. He claimed Jamaican males were averse to higher education and only “like singing, smoking ganja and twisting their hair”, an apparent reference to dreadlocks

In an editorial, the Gleaner newspaper in Jamaica suggested that the octogenarian president might apply his time more diligently to advising the youth of Zimbabwe not to look up to him {Mugabe} as a role model.

The Gleaner referred to Mugabe’s comments as a “hyperbolic rant” which had made a sweeping generalisation of Jamaican males, many of who were decent men who worked hard to take care of their families. It added that many Jamaicans had set international benchmarks as exceptional achievers.

The tabloid said Mugabe had become “a sad caricature of the heroic figure who led the struggle for Zimbabwe’s independence and described him as “an octogenarian despot who abuses human rights in his country and who after mismanaging and running the country to ruin was now desperately clinging on to power.”

It is indeed true that Jamaica is the world’s third-largest producer of marijuana and the Caribbean’s leading producer and exporter of the illicit crop. It is also true that 70 per cent of Jamaicans attending universities and colleges are women.

As a matter of fact, the Gleaner newspaper conceded after taking Mugabe apart limb by limb that the country needed to “discuss anew, the problems of Jamaican males who are at risk.”

It suggests that the Jamaicans may have taken the criticisms in their stride if Old Bob had worded them appropriately.

Lesson: If you opt for bellicosity and antagonism over diplomacy and civility in communicating criticisms, you will reap antagonism in kind and in greater measure, even if your criticisms are justified.

Of all the jokes about Mugabe, the one about him and the queen remains my favourite: Queen Elizabeth, George Bush and Robert Mugabe died and went straight to hell, see? Queen Elizabeth said, "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing.”

She called and talked for about five minutes and then turned to the devil "Hey, Devil, how much do I owe you?” "Five million dollars" says the Devil. The Queen wrote him a cheque and went to sit back in her rocking chair. 

George Bush starts screaming, "Hey it is my turn, buddy! I gotta call The States too!" He called and talked for about two minutes, then he asked "How much do I owe you, Devil? The Devil says "Ten million dollars. Bush made a cheque and went to sit back in his chair. 

Now Old Bob starts to bellow for the Devil’s attention. "I want to call Zimbabwe too, I want to see how everybody is doing, except Morgan Tsvangirai.” Mugabe called Zimbabwe and talked for about twenty hours. He talked and talked and talked, then he asked, "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The Devil says "One dollar".

Old Bob stares at the Devil in disbelief. "What? Only one dollar? You think the black man is that poor?" The Devil explains: " If you make a call from one hell to another hell, you pay local call charges!".