Sydney Abugri Writing and Editing Services

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“Read the consumer information on every product you buy off the shelves before use.” This headline is quoting none other than me, Jomo. Here is why I am sharing my great wisdom liberally with consumers: I mentioned to someone the other day, how the unruly mountain of grey with a few streaks of black hairs sitting on my skull, seem to be getting kinkier by the day.

Run off to the nearest shop and get yourself a small jar of Morgan’s ointment. That is what the bloke suggested. To the nearest shop I went, and got myself a jar of Morgan’s, see? On the first day, it appeared to soften the unruly mass alright. It was on the second day of use, that I realized I had forgotten to read the consumer information on the jar.

It spoke about softening the hair and making it easy to give it a great groom, which I daresay, was quite fine with me. The problem was that the information added this bit about the product darkening grey hair. Hey, why the hell would I want to oppose nature by darkening my grey mountain, Jomo. As a matter of fact, I intend to buy a bucket of whitewash and paint off the one or two dark strands left.

Morale of tale? Read the consumer information on food, medicine and other products before you buy.

“Abduction of YFM radio presenter was the fifth in two years.” This tale is a follow-up report on the orginal story of Takoradi-based YFM radio presenter, Adaese Oda Onyinyechi, who is reported to have been abducted and gang raped by five unnamed men.

Photos of the victim being sexually assaulted by her alleged captors were posted on social media much to the anger and chagrin of feminists groups and members of the public who said they are scandalized by the appalling show of insensitivity by the media to the injury that had been inflicted on the young woman’s emotional health and her future as a result.

Then some questions tumbled forth, Jomo: How come the police allowed the radio presenter to get away with the four previous hoaxes without charging her with deceit of a public officer each time? On the other hand, if it is the case that the four previous complaints of abduction and sexual assault were credible, what did the police find out in each of the four cases with the information made available to them by the complainant, even if she refused to cooperate with them as the police have alleged? Is it the normal thing for the police to have a member of the public report a criminal offense FOUR GOOD TIMES but refuse to assist in investigating them? What are the police supposed to do in such circumstances?

Consumers of public information were confronted with one of those situations where two and two staunchly refuse to add up. Information which filtered through during the week, to the effect that prior to her admission to hospital, an acquaintance of the radio presenter had met her walking along a highway, dirty, half-naked and carrying a basket of rubbish she said she wanted to present to her boyfriend as a birthday gift,  increased the complexity of this yarn.

Enter the Inspector General of Police, who instructs  police detectives to get to the very bottom of the curious tale with the very barest minimum of delay.

Thanks to the police chief, Mister Truth came walking through the doorway hours later, bearing the revelation that the sexual assault scenes portrayed in the photos posed on social media were actually acted out in a hotel room at the instance of the mysterious radio presenter who paid the cast! Another version has it that she starred in the cast herself along with five men.

The radio presenter it was also revealed, is not a Nigerian as we had been led to believe all along after all, but a Ghanaian whose real name is Akosua Appiah. Nice name, Jomo. Further revelations from the senior high school she attended suggest that she left behind a record that does little for her character.

The explanation by some people that she had been jilted by a boyfriend and hoped to win his sympathy by pulling off the prank still leaves a question unanswered: What was the motivation then for the four previous allegations she made to the effect that she had been abducted and sexually assaulted?

If she comes to trial it will be a dicey issue: If she is convicted, the law could be throwing in jail a psychologically unbalanced young woman or a person in dire need of psychiatric help. That she woke up during hospital and asked to see her non-existent baby certainly raises justified questions about the state of the nuts, bolts and screws in her skull.

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